Stage One
Denial and Isolation
12×16 · oil on canvas
Developing the color black with only primary colors is a good challenge. Translating this first grief step as a composition is another.
This season of my life is one of intentionality and deep reflection. It is impossible to separate my creative thoughts from my life experiences, and my painting journey naturally is a part of my ongoing grief journey after losing my oldest daughter, Taylor.
I remember the first time I looked up the five stages of grief and frantically tried to place my feelings in one of the stages. The stages always seemed to bleed into one another. I never felt that I was just in one stage.
Part of me believes this was created for me, and a big part of me believes this was created to help others understand the individual nature of grief. Everyone's journey is different. There are no prescriptions to fix grief. You must dive in and just be.
As with most of my work, an idea forms and needs to get out. I jotted down the five stages in my notebook and immediately began understanding how these would translate through color and composition.
It's not what happens to you that matters, but how you react and learn from it that does.
Adapted from my grandfather